If you could see yourself through the eyes of your dog, would there be any particular behaviors you might change? If our dogs could actually talk and verbalize what they see, would you really want to know what they were thinking? Some human behaviors are just plain strange to our canine family members. Here are 10 reasons your dog thinks you’re weird.
You shower every single day
Um, why? Many dogs have zero interest in getting wet, lathered up and forced to rinse every fiber of bunny, squirrel and dog park remnant off their coats. Why then do humans insist on scrubbing their skin and rinsing off the good stuff day in and day out?
You use a mirror
Why not just get up every morning, shake yourself off, and go forth to conquer the world? In other words, be like a dog. No doubt, dogs must find it strange when we stare at ourselves in a mirror, when clearly, their perfection requires no such nonsense.
You use utensils
Who needs forks and knives? The mouth rules! Face down, lean forward, and enjoy. Cutlery just slows you down.
You stare at the electronic devices
If dogs could talk, they’d probably say something like, “Uh, hey mom and dad, how about putting the blinky box away and taking me for a walk?” From cell phones to mobile devices, tablets, and laptops, our canines balk at our obsession with objects that emit light and sound funny.
You rely on indoor plumbing
The grass is definitely greener on the other side—just ask your dog. Enough said!
You greet people with a handshake
Why can’t we save ourselves the effort it takes to shake a hand or embrace one another and do like our dogs. Imagine how much easier life would be if we could just sniff, figure out what someone is really all about and move on.
You enjoy fireworks
“Oooh, ahh, look at the bombs bursting in air and listen to the joyful sounds they emit,” said no dog ever. Those loud booms make our dogs hide in the closet or cower behind the couch.
You throw food away
Those scraps are edible, and those chicken bones, why they’re the greatest thing since sliced white bread. Why would you throw perfectly great nom noms away when the dog(s) clearly have an agenda to keep garbage to a minimum.
You use a treadmill
If you plan to run, why don’t you get anywhere? There’s a perfectly gorgeous world out there waiting for you, so why jog in place?
Sometimes you’re a grump
Life is short, why be a grump? Dogs live in the moment, they live happy, they do not worry about what happened five minutes ago or what will take place ten minutes into the future. Dogs live for the here and now. Feeling bad? Dogs just don’t understand.
Carol Bryant runs the blog Fidose of Reality.