15 Hilarious Thoughts You Have While Grooming Dogs and Cats
As many pet parents know, grooming dogs and cats can be a bit stressful. Between the sad puppy dog eyes and the angry kitty claws, it’s one of the less rewarding ways to spend time with your furry best friend. Not to mention, it’s plenty messy.
“I wear a water-resistant shirt and apron, and sometimes I still get soaked,” says Amie Tolomeo, a pet stylist and owner of New Jersey-based Rockin Pups Grooming Salon.
Is bath day approaching at your house? In the name of moral support, here are 15 thoughts that may cross your mind as you attempt to bathe your pets at home—as well as some expert troubleshooting tips!
1. “Oh come on, bud, anything but that face. No one can handle the Sad Wet Pug face!”
2. “How can something this incredibly cute get so incredibly dirty?”
Grooming tip: Before you start grooming, make sure to have all of your dog grooming supplies close to hand and ready to go.
“It’s helpful to have everything set up,” Tolomeo says. “Have your shampoos, conditioners, a plastic cup or pitcher to help rinse and towels. I keep old towels just for my pets.”
3. “No, not the puppy eyes! Put those away right now, mister.”
Grooming tip: Tolomeo recommends diluting your dog shampoo with water—it’ll be easier to apply and faster to rinse.
4. “Clearly, I didn’t think this through.”
5. “Yes there is a shower cap on your head. Yes, you look absolutely fine—I promise!”
Grooming tip: Make sure you use pet shampoo.
“The biggest mistake people make is using ‘people’ shampoos or dish soap, instead of shampoo specially formulated for dogs,” Tolomeo says. “I recommend something made for dogs and labeled ‘tearless;’ it’ll be gentler, so you can really scrub his face and head.”
6. “I really wish I taught the dog how to dial 911.”
7. “Listen, bud, I’m not a real big fan of me right now, either, but I promise we’ll get through this together.”
Grooming tip: Don’t forget the dog conditioner!
“You use conditioner on your hair, so why would you skip that step for your pup?” Tolomeo says. “Conditioner helps the skin and coat stay hydrated and healthy.”
8. “No. Just no. You are so cute. I can’t continue this bath.”
Grooming tip: Rinse well.
“You can’t really over-rinse,” Tolomeo says. “If you think you rinsed enough, rinse some more. If you leave a little bit of shampoo residue by accident, it can cause itchy skin, a dull coat or even flakes later.”
9. “You’re going to take this out on the curtains, aren’t you?”
10. “Wait, who replaced my dog with this little alien mop?”
Grooming tip: To successfully bathe your dog, you’ll want to get each and every part good and soapy.
“Anything that gets wet and not fully washed will leave you with that ‘wet dog’ smell,” Tolomeo, “because, duh, it’s a wet dog!”
11. “Note to self: Sleep with one eye open tonight.”
12. “How about you just take a minute for yourself while I go get the treats?”
13. “I will spend the rest of my life trying to make this right.”
14. “Now’s a bad time for E.T. jokes, right? Fair enough.”
Grooming tip: Skip the blow-out.
“I don’t recommend using a standard hair dryer on your pet,” Tolomeo says. “They make a high-pitched noise, which usually upsets dogs, and the heat they emit can be dangerous after a few minutes.”
15. “The world doesn’t deserve you!”
Even though it’s not always easy, properly grooming your pets is important for their health and wellbeing. Just make sure to end the experience with a treat (for both of you).
Looking for some grooming tips? Check out:
- 8 Essential Dog Grooming Supplies for At-Home Grooming
- 8 Ways to Make Your Dog’s Bathtime Less Stressful
- Cat Grooming Tips to Keep Your Kitty Pretty
By: Monica Weymouth
Featured Image: Courtesy of arya_and_luna/Instagram