12 Things Every Pet Parent Is Guilty Of
Being a parent is hard work. There are meals to make, clothes to wash and play dates to coordinate. Not to mention the grooming appointments, vet bills and litter boxes. Yes, we’re talking about a very special group of parents: pet parents.
You love your fur babies and never (ever) pass up an opportunity to pamper them. Do you take things a little too far sometimes? Maybe. But in your defense, the cat never said she didn’t want a birthday party. Sure, your pup might be spoiled, but Mommy’s Best Boy deserves the best dog treats.
Not sure if you qualify? Here are some signs that you, faithful human, are a doting pet parent.
1. No family photo is complete without your pet.
Mr. Fluffkins is front and center of each and every one, from vacation photos to holiday cards. After all, he’s a member of the family—and so handsome, too. Who could resist a photo with him in it?
2. Some days, your dog is dressed better than you.
Maybe that should be most days. Whereas you’ll throw on any old pullover to take him for a walk, your Chihuahua steps out in a fancy Fab Dog plaid wool jacket and matching booties.
3. You bought matching human and dog pajamas—and you regret nothing.
If lounging in style with your best bud is wrong, you don’t want to be right. You’ve already picked up Footed Pajamas’ adult joggies and identical Footed Pajamas’ pup joggies. Next on your wish list? Coordinating slippers, naturally.
4. You have top-of-the-line pet gear.
Those matching human and dog pajamas are nothing compared to your impressive gadgets. From self-cleaning litter boxes to filtered water bowls to pet strollers, your fur babies live the good life—as they should. (Yes, pet strollers. How else would the cats enjoy a little fresh air? Check out Gen7 promenade pet stroller for cats and extra-small to medium dog breeds. There’s no shame in your game.)
5. You have no less than 10 nicknames per pet.
In fact, you can’t even remember the dog’s real name. Calvin? Cooper? Clyde? No matter—here comes Smoochy McSmooches.
6. You talk to your dog.
And not just a simple, “Who’s a good boy?!” You tell him about your day, make idle chat about the weather, gossip about the neighbors and share your “Bachelor” frustrations. There’s no better listener than man’s (and woman’s) best friend.
7. And, it goes without saying, you talk to your cat.
As everyone lucky enough to have a feline friend knows, cats are excellent confidants. Tell a tabby a secret, and you can be sure she’ll keep it safe. That said, tell her your “Bachelor” woes, and she’ll mock you mercilessly. Total rookie mistake—you can’t talk to your cat the same way you talk to your dog.
8. You celebrate your pets’ birthdays and adoption days.
Who would pass up an opportunity to eat cake and hang out with furry friends? Not you. Your friends and family know to expect an invite—as well as decorations, party favors and a custom piñata crafted in your pet’s likeness.
9. Those cookies cooling on the counter? Not so fast—they’re for the dog.
What can you say? Sir Popkins has a very sophisticated palate and likes his biscuits fresh from the oven. You always keep his favorite treat mix, such as Whisk & Wag’s Apple & Cinnamon mix, on hand.
10. No furniture is off limits.
Maybe you tried at one point, but you quickly realized that no couch is complete without a dog curled up next to you. While you were considering upgrading to a king-size mattress anyway, if you’re being honest, it was mostly for your Maltese—who still somehow manages to take up half the bed.
11. You buy your pet gifts for every holiday.
And we mean every single holiday. From The Cat Ladies’ cat grass for Christmas to Hanukkah tennis balls to Flag Day feather toys, you never pass up an excuse to celebrate with your little buds. Do pet gifts require wrapping paper? Perhaps not, but that doesn’t stop you.
12. People who don’t have pets confuse you
To each their own, but you’ll never quite understand humans who choose not to share their lives with animals. Who waits for them in the window? Who warms up their couch cushions? Who chews up their shoes and then looks so adorably guilty that they can’t be mad? Life is full of mysteries.
By Monica Weymouth